Some exciting updates from this girl in the south! Well... I have only just arrived in Macon, but I am being transferred again! I know I know, y'all are thinking: "What?? But she just got there! And she stays in all her areas for 7 months at least!" haha... but it is true. And Sister Bell is leaving with me. Macon is being closed to sisters for the time being. There are fewer sisters coming into our mission, so our mission president had to close 4 sisters' areas :( There will still be two sets of boy missionaries (elders) in Macon, but no sisters. And tomorrow I will find out where my new home will be!
All of this came as quite a shock to me. I had been feeling a little "off", I guess. And I wasn't sure why. I had been struggling in Macon for a while. But things were looking up! I had just learned how to get around Macon and not get super lost. I was just starting to form strong relationships with the members here and learn their names. We had finally found people that wanted to learn more about our message. People that were praying, and reading, and questioning. And then... I find out that I'm being transferred.
So for a minute, it didn't make sense. Why would Heavenly Father do this? What was the reason that I came to Macon? What had I accomplished? What is going to happen to all of the people that I have grown to love?
Sometimes, we have questions for God. And that's okay. Matthew 7:7-8 says:
7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
What does that tell me? It is okay to ask God questions. In fact, He encourages it. And not only that, but He WILL answer. You will find. A way will be opened. Understanding will come.
Sometimes, God puts us in a place that hurts. It feels like fire. It feels like pain. And we wonder why a loving father would do that to a child. We wonder why Heavenly Father would do that to us. Most of the important questions that I have had in life came to me when I was in a place of necessity. We may go a long time in life, years perhaps, without asking ourselves deeply important questions. Why? Because at that time, the answer isn't important.
It doesn't matter to me where the closest gas station is until I am running out of gas. Sometimes God lets us run out of gas so that we will search for the gas station. Sometimes, the only way for us to learn and to grow is by doing horribly hard things. But that is okay. Because God knows why we need necessity. He knows that is where desire is born.
It is for this reason, among many others, that I am a missionary. Every single one of us will encounter heartache, despair, trial.... no one is immune. And when that time comes, we search for answers. And it is in the gospel of Jesus Christ where we find those answers. I am only here today because I know that He is in control. All of this makes sense if He has a plan. And I testify that He does. I know that more strongly and deeply than ever before.
I am grateful for hard things. I am grateful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am grateful that my Heavenly Father has a plan for ME. And I know that He has a plan for YOU.
I love you all!
Sister Szilagyi
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